Hello! Since we're all still new to each other around here, now is the time for me to admit that I'm one of those people. The "decorate for every holiday" people. There are boxes in my basement that are filled with decor for minor holidays like St. Patrick's Day, and I've honestly lost count of the ones for Christmas. It gets a little overwhelming here.
However, with J in our lives, we've learned over the years to watch out for things that can scare or overwhelm him-for example, while he's been cool with actually meeting Santa, he's not always comfortable sitting on his lap. We let him make that call. And we try to go at an off time to meet him, because standing in line is a one-way ticket to a meltdown.
Halloween is kind of a mixed bag for the kiddo-he likes the idea of going door to door to collect candy, and he thinks some of the decorations are cool. On the other hand, dressing up was a struggle for a while (he's gotten much better with that), and motion activated decor is a big no-no. It makes going shopping interesting, because every store in the city seems to have some sort of dancing skeleton or cackling witch lurking behind a corner.
Over the last few years, we've worked up a few tips for getting through the spookiest time of the year with a sensory-challenged child, and I wanted to share them. It's mostly common sense, but when you're so excited that your three year old looks so cute in his plush Brobee costume that you lose sight of the fact that he hates the feeling of the material, common sense goes right out the window.
1-Let your child pick the costume. This may sound super obvious, but when your child is littler, or maybe is non/limited-verbal, it can be easier to just choose based on the child's interests. The Brobee costume, for example, was cute and furry and came with a matching hat. And J LOVED Brobee. How could it go wrong? Well, for example, the hat was just tight enough to bother him. And the inside of the costume was scratchy. And it was hot. It took a few wearings for him to get used to it enough to stand to wear it for trick or treat, but he still wasn't happy with it. Last year, we let him choose, and he picked Jedi robes. This year, he picked Sheriff Woody. Those costumes were a lot better for him-looser fit, soft materials, not bundled up like a tiny arctic explorer.
2-Listen if your child doesn't want a costume. There's other choices out there-we improvised a soccer player costume out of J's wardrobe one year, because he couldn't handle wearing Brobee on a warmer day. There's always clever t-shirts to be bought or made, or costumes to improvise. Wear an apron, carry a mixing bowl and whisk, and your child is a chef. If your child will tolerate face paint, go with an animal or monster makeup.
3-Practice if you can. We usually take J to a trunk or treat, or other organized activity. We've trick or treated at the zoo and the mall. It's a good way to practice the social interactions (saying "Trick or treat!", choosing one piece of candy if offered, and saying "Thank you!") in daylight, and it's also a way to get used to seeing other costumes and decor. Also consider taking a walk in your neighborhood after dark, using a flashlight. It'll give your child the opportunity to see houses that may have illuminated decor.
4-Take your time. If your child wants to pack it in after three houses, do it. If the kiddo decides it's the greatest thing ever and wants to hit every house in the area, do what you can. But don't make it a case of rushing from house to house. Slow down, look at the houses and other trick or treaters. Take the time to talk about what you're seeing with your child. We're probably going to let J take pictures of things as we go, since he tends to use them as a sort of social story. It's also a good idea to have a flashlight on hand, as well as a small calming toy to help with anxiety.
5-Don't be afraid to skip trick or treat. If your child just isn't loving it, don't force it. There's other options! Let him or her help you hand out candy. Watch a Halloween themed show or movie. Have some special treats or games. You can still have fun without going out!
6-Don't forget to eat!! Make sure your child has a chance to eat before going out. If you can't do dinner, at least have a healthy snack to tide them over. It'll cut down on binge eating out of the candy bag. Speaking of candy, if you have a kid like mine that is very picky about the kinds of treats they'll eat (J only eats peppermint patties, dum-dum suckers, and rainbow Goldfish), have a few treats on hand so they can have something later. Stash them in a jacket pocket or have them ready at home.
See? Mostly common sense, but a little preparation and forethought can make a potential night of anxiety turn into a night of fun.
Happy Halloween!
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